You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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