I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize