No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
