Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize