Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
