What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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