I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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