I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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