Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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