Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
