I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
