I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
