I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
how drunk are you?
Several
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
