we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
