I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You are the jesus of drinking
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
