If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
