she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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