somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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