Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
