Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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