i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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