I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
