dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How naked do you want me to be?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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