For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
