At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
