are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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