She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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