how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so let's talk penis.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
