My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
