never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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