I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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