ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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