Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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