tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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