matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
