what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
