So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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