i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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