your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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