I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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