Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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