Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
