kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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