the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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