I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
