that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize