He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
