just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
