He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My pussy is not your playground.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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