sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
