The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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