The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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