this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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