Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Can I color on your dick again?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Never joke about your clitoris.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
