I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
