dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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