So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
