Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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