If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
