Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
