you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Randomize
