Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
