worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
