And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
