How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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